Once upon a tam there was a couple a cheese shuckers what went by the name o' Cristina n' D-Vaughn...
Cristina was the daughter o' two right cordial EYEtalian folks livin' in the dirty ol' city o' TeeRonToe Can-da. They'd always hoped their daughter'd grow up to live THEIR dream n' become the most ornary airline stewardess in all o' the sky.
D-Vaughn was born t'a pair o' hapless teenagers what left him t'fend fr'mself on the prairies of Albeta. There on the prairies he was taken in by a pack o' while-y Kaye-oots what taught'im t'hunt n' tamper with the mail.
It was round the tam Cristina was rearing t'head off t'stewardess school (n' you shaoulda seen how proud'er folks were) that her and D-Vaughn met.
The meetin' was what lots a parsons call dumb luck but what I lak t'think of as coincidence. D-Vaughn was trav'lin thru TeeRonToe on his way t'Moscow. He had t'stop at the downtown o' the city t'hold out a cup an try'an earn his self a sockful a bus fare. What should happen then but Cristina comes by in a potatoe sack holdin' her new stewardess school uniform in a dry clean bag you could see right thru.
Well D-Vaughn gets one look't her in that 'everything ta the 'magination' tater sack n' he can no longer control his bodily functions. He drops his cup (which was holding no less'n too and won half doll'rs), grabs Cristina 'round the middle n' tells her t'
"sing a tiddly or two".
What hap'ns tho is't instead a her teeth makin' a scream or squeal
o' fright, she lets out the most boo-ti-ful sound D-Vaughn had ever heard.
'I'll be darned', thought D-Vaughn.
Then lak a flash D-Vaughn is stucketh down with a fryin' pan that that Cristina'd had hidden under her uniform bag.
But amazingly instead of making a 'klang!!' or a 'whack!!!!' sound when it hits his noggin the fryin' pan makes the sound o' the most gorgeous gee miner flat five chord there could ever be.
'Golly', this Cristina gurl figures, 'If he makes the frying pan sound like that, imagine what he could do with a hand crafted acoustic guitar!'
N' so after that day Cristina, much t'the dismay a her folks, could only think a one thing n' that was singing with the grubby Kay-OOT boy. So the two'm decided t'call m'selves IN BLUE RIVER after a T.V. show that Cristina's dreamed she'd watched.
That's purdy much where this story ends, 'cep fr they're still playin' mu-sack n' all, that kinda goes without sane. I'm goin' fr a saspa-gorilla now so you have yerself a fan ol' day.
Goodba!
